anima and animus

well, i am not going to write about them, for i don't know much.  i have been intrigued by my dreams of the last one week.  most of them are angst ridden, full of rage, angry dreams about people and houses.  either i am not getting full control of my own house, or i am being disapproved by some other or both.

this led me to look at the main characters of my dreams. in most cases, there is this middle to oldish man, who seems to be mocking at me and suggesting all kinds of insinuations.  there is this youngish woman who seems to be a party to this man, more silent but cunning and manipulative, and one or two hangers on, who are not saying anything but not supporting me either.  i am filled with rage in my dreams and feeling quite helpless that there is not anyone who will help.

this brought me to the anima and animus and i might be killed by others for writing this.  but then, lets take a chance..... 

In one of the discussions with a Jungian analyst, we were looking at how Indian women have learnt to be women, but finds it difficult to integrate the positive male internally,  i.e. positive, encouraging, contained, protective, confident, spirited, wise and free.  this inner male seems to be a problem for most women that i know.  

it is not that the women do not know how to be all those things above, but they are never there together for the self.  it is more often than not, offered to the other, to the loved ones, to the subordinates, to people who need to be looked after.  Rarely for the self. 

the moment it comes to the self, choice making becomes difficult, guilt rises to the fore, and often defiance takes the front seat. women are rarely approaching their right place without feeling like a victim who now has enough power to claim victory over it.

women in my experience, find it easier to be macho but not a positive male.  or they relegate themselves to be a patriarchal male, with all taboos intact, with a little bit of polish to make it more acceptable.  

anyway, let me come to the anima and the animus.  one definition of the anima and animus as has been given by Erich Neumann, in The Origins and History of 

Consciousness (Princeton University Press, 1954) xxii n.7.is  

"The Anima is the personification of all feminine psychological tendencies within a man, the archetypal feminine symbolism within a man's unconscious. TheAnimus is the personification of all masculine psychological tendencies within a woman, the archetypal masculine symbolism within a woman's unconscious" 

now for me, this archetypal masculine symbolism has become very important.  As i often use myself as a case study, i am discovering that the first imprint or one of the important imprints of animus comes from the first encounters with the significant male figures in one's life.  and if i look at mine and the significant encounters, then one of the sources of this animus formation would be male psyche who had passed on this message to me: "women should be gentle, obedient, well behaved, soft, feminine, attractive and demure"  with a rider "however, without intelligence, aliveness and seduction" she will lose my attention.  this got me.  because there was no way i could be both.  one had to be a manipulator to be the other.  

and it is only now, that i realise that how the internal male psyche holds the internal feminine in such a vice like grip, never letting her to be free and is always taunting and disrespectful.

there is so much more to write.  

i am sure for men too, their first significant encounters with females, would have helped shaped the anima for themselves.

are there others who think like i do?  i would love to hear.